motorcycles and children and mothers

"Well seems to me that the only decision would have to be getting rid of the wife."

It worked for me..... Less drama...More motorcycles...

I grew up around motorcycles. My first bike was a Bridgestone. I was taught to respect them by my parents. Even after my accident 1 1/2 years ago which almost took my leg, my parents were there to help. They know the dangers and as long as the bike and laws are respected, there isn't much more you can do. Everything else is fate. I'm 40 and my son is 9. He rides every chance he can with me and is learning from the ground up. I'm sure it will make him a better, safer and more knowledgable rider

Richard Z.

My dad kept a motorcycle in the garage which "never worked" the entire time we were growing up. He was a pack rat so we didn't think twice about it until one day I come home from school and see some other guy riding it around in our neighborhood and then buying it from my dad right there on the spot. All that time my dad probably took off on rides when we kids were gone and made sure to get back and park it before we got back. My mom didn't like the idea of us riding or wanting to ride motorcycles but realized that once we left home we were on our own so whe wasn't that worried about it after then.

I own a motorcycle now, and I probably won't let my kids ride until they are old and responsible enough to buy their own bikes and ride them. In fact, I probably won't let them ride a motorcycle until they learn to dismantle it and rebuild it from the ground up so they can understand and appreciate it like I do. Aw hell, I'll probably end up having only daughters but then won't have to worry about this will I?

I agree with off road riding. It's bonding with your kid(s) and teaching them the basics along with the motorcycle respect without 2000 pound things hurtling at you. Not to say off road is easy or safe...no way! There are always rocks, trees, mud, deep sand and chuck holes ready to ruin your day. But they again are not hurtling at you or on intersecting trajectories. I also agree that they should work on their own bikes (as well as yours!)! I think it is quite smart to raise a few mechanics as well as doctors and lawyers. They should understand the old proverb "you break it and you fix it with your money or your indentured services. There is more than one way to install respect of expensive toys. I like this approach better than letting it get to a 18-21 year old kid who thinking he is superman getting a BusaR1Ninjalightthefuseandhangonroadrocket. One more thing is to make sure they are safely outfitted to ride both on or off road, it is nothing to skimp on.

This came up for me shortly after the birth of my son. One day I took him down to the basement to check on my bikes (my wife is cool with me having a bike or two in the basement during the winter to work on). The subject of him riding came up and I could see that my wife was a bit concerned since when I first started riding I fell of a few times and had the desire to test limits of my skills (which were not that great). She also knew me back then.:pinch:
As my son has grown he associates motorcycles with me and I always were the protective equipment no matter what (helmet, gloves, jacket, long pants, boots). I would like to be a good example for him since if he decides to ride, I feel like it is important.
Growing up, my parents always had a bike in the garage and I was hooked from the get-go. The only way I wasn't going to ride as an adult was if I was dead. My brother, on the other hand, has little interest in it. Doesn't own a bike, so go figure. My parents were encouraging and let me ride their bike when I first got my license. I had to take a motorcycle class to do it, but they paid for it. They trusted me, so I acted responsibly. Until I was tired of riding on my dad's CX500 and bought my '79KZ750 twin. To me, that was a sport bike compared to the Honda. Well, I lived to tell about it. Tough choices as we want nothing bad to happen to our children, but they are people too and if their parents can teach them, that is better than their friends.

My wife was not real excited about me teaching the kids to ride dirt bikes. She's spent some time in emergency rooms with me during my amatuer mx career... But she understands how important it is for Dads to do stuff with their kids. Dirt bike riding is something you can do together your whole lives. I've seen three generations out on the trails. It's all good. Forget about the tattooed and mohawked crown doing backflips on the X games. That is a sideshow. Most of the people you see out there (except for the rednecks on quads but thats another thread) are great. It's very family oriented and a good way to get outside. If you are anywhere around Atlanta I would be happy to take you out riding.
Jim

Be honest with them. Is there any other way?

My dad bought a harley right after getting out of the Army in the late '50s before he was married and had kids. No experience and he came from a very conservative background. He tells me he nearly killed himself on it numerous times, couldn't get rid of it quick enough (kicks himself to this day for trading a '49 Chevrolet for it which he swears was the best car he ever owned) and the idea of me getting a motorcycle was a subject that gave him heart palpitations when I was growing up.

Funny thing is, he's the biggest gun enthusiast I know, and I had acccess to as many guns and as much ammo as I could ever want to shoot since I can remember. Going to a rifle range or hunting was at least a once a week thing in the family my whole childhood. Somehow Dad got it right on guns; brought us all up with respect (no accidents ever) for them and enthusiasm for them, but I'm the only one of the five kids who ever messed with motorcycles. He still doesn't like me to show up on one and just can't understand what I see in them, despite the fact that he is a very independent and adventureous sort himself. Weird.

Don't try to conceal something like that from your kids. Hiding things that you have no reason to be ashamed of from your kids just strikes me as wrong. My oldest son is 14 now and just got a learner's permit, maybe after he develops a healthy respect for motorized vehicles, we'll start him on a motorcycle. He isn't fascinated by them, but he knows I enjoy mine and he does seem to want to give them a try.

Last thing and I don't want to judge anyone's personal life here, but I've known guys who say "My wife is making me get rid of my guns", or "my wife won't let me have a motorcycle". If that's the case, you need to take a real hard look at that relationship and the demands your spouse is putting on you. I've been married almost 20 years, and I got a pretty good wife. She wouldn't put up with a lot of things some women put up with from men, but she knows I will put family first and she knows what to leave alone. Likewise, I think I'm pretty respectful of what's important to her. Anything else would be a controlling kind of a relationship and shouldn't be put up with.

Hi. I'm in law enforcement and have firearms. When I first got into it, I made a point of involving my wife in some firearms training. My thought at the time was that if there were firearms around, I wanted her to be able to handle a weapon safely, regardless of how she personally felt about it. She agreed and is now a good shot and safe firearms handler.

When my daughter was very young, she asked me to see and hold a revolver. I knew from friends that hiding the gun or pretending it didn't exist or hoping that the child would not figure it out would not work...as mentioned earlier, the forbidden fruit is the one they want and they'll climb over piles of toys, gameboxes and anything else to get what they want. The key is to remove the mystery. In this case, I opened the safe, took out the pistol, made TRIPLY sure it was unloaded and let her hold it while I controlled it. When she was satisfied, I told that if she ever wanted to do it again, all she had to do was ask, but that she was never to handle a firearm by herself. I also offerred to take her out to the range when she was older. That pretty much quenched her curiosity and she never asked to handle a firearm again until she wanted to go shoot one.

The key with these things, in my humble opinion, is to remove the mystery and to ensure that the item in question does not become a forbidden fruit. You should know that your kids are just like sponges...when they see you sneaking off to the neighbor's house with your riding gear, they'll figure out what's going on darn quick...and believe me, they'll figure it out sooner or later no matter what you do or don't do. I would agree with the others that if you have the bike, be honest about it with your kids and make sure that they understand that with the freedom and joy you get from riding your rig, there is also great PERSONAL responsibility, including obtaining the proper training, wearing the correct gear, maintaining the bike and accepting a certain level of risk. It's all part of it and it's important not to lie or mislead them...if you do and they find out (and they will), that's when the problems will start....

Just my $0.02...

Bob

very true statement that some are attracted to motorcycles, and some are not.
Nobody in my family ever owned a motorcycle, or wanted one for that matter. I bugged my parents for 3 years to let me buy one.
No support came from the family either. My mom saw it as a death machine, and my grandfather sat me down one day and told me that I could barely ride a bicycle, how do I expect to ride a motorcycle!

Well here's a reply from a guy that had a fearful, overprotective mom and a dad that let her get away w/it. Mom took away our water guns and refused to allow BB guns, because she didn't like guns. She taught me to run away from the bullies and that my older brother, who cut her apron strings early, was a trouble maker because he liked guns, raced MC's and didn't put up w/crap from the bullies. Dad pretty much let her raise us, as she saw fit and didn't interfere. Consequently, IMO, it wasn't until I got in my 30's that I grew balls, and am still a somewhat fearful person, that overcomes it only w/an act of will. Mom's 95 now, I'm 55, (Dad's been dead since I was 18) and she still wants to control my risk taking by guilt tripping. I, now, basically ignored her wants, as applied to my life and am a much stronger person than she would have liked. It's all about control and who has it!!!
Just a take from a former "mamma's boy"

To some extent I agree with everything said, BUT knowing woman like I do, almost everybody except for "Ronjones" thread overlooked the obvious.

Women think with their emotions. You're all trying to "reason" your way through this approach. That doesn't fly with women. They don't think, they "Emote".

Your wife doesn't want your kids to get hurt. Bottom line I think you mentioned it twice?

So, what to do?

Boys will be boys and that's the bottom line, read above what RonJones went through. To protect your boy from getting hurt isn't doing him much good. I learned something from every wipe out, every crash I ever made.

Truly, honestly, some folks ARE cut out for bikes and some aren't. They'll never know unless they try.

I've got a nephew, mostly raised by my domineering sister and her wimpy husband who at the grand age of 31 is finally becoming what I would call "Male". Not a poofball afraid of anything not connected to the warm indoors and a TV screen.

Getting hurt, learning lessons etc, is much, much easier when you are young. The "lessons" dont' hurt as much or don't cost you as much.

Suppose your kids grow up and jump on motorcycles someday without a childhood of getting to know the bikes very well. How much harder are the lessons then, when you get out on the streets with cars and whatnot compared to falling off a bike at 20mph in the dirt?

I'm as fortunate as anybody. Farm Machinery, guns, airplanes, bicycles, motorcycles were a part of growing up. Nobody said I "couldn't".

Maybe I'm a bit of a hardass when it comes to raising kids, but that's how I was raised and to this day one thing I'm not afraid of doing is "Living" whatever that might entail and to me that's motorcycles and airplanes. And all this comes from "failing". If that's what you want to call learning, or falling off of something.

I had a neighbor, the proverbial, "bones"(smallest kid in class). This was one tuff kid, he wasn't afraid of anything or anybody. Mostly because he had to fight his way through life. His parents were some tuff folks from Arkansas living in Michigan. Anytime we came back bloodied from some scrape or another, his dad had a line I'll never forget.

"If something bad happens to you, it's probably your own fault".


Good Luck man.

Post edited by: ThousandKaw, at: 2008/01/18 14:22

Nevermind that I've been gone for a month. This is a great thread and the replies are fantastic! The ones above mine here on Page 2 have hit home runs.

Strangely, despite growing up on a dairy farm around machinery and livestock and firearms, my mom also was less than thrilled at the prospect of me owning a motorcycle. She may still be, but she knows now that I'll do the responsible thing.

The keys seem to be understanding that many women emote and keeping the mystery out of a thing as far as your kids are concerned as Jinglebob related so well.

Do all the right things to assuage your wife's emotion. Don't be secretive about your riding toward your kids. Excellent advice, IMO.