Coolest Tricks Tools And Tips You've Picked Up

I am budget, workspace and life-expectancy challenged. As in I'm just not going to live long enough to manage to hand-sand and polish every aluminum bit on my bike that's managed to work up 30 years of chalk, my lovely girlfriend will shove every damned ONE of them up my keester long before I accomplish that particular feat. And honestly, who the Hell would want to?

First and foremost: COCA COLA & ALUMINUM FOIL to clean rust from chrome!!! Seriously guys, this is THE BOMB!! I know that I can't afford to immerse an entire fender in Evaporust, so this is the way to go. Cola busts down the rust and the foil is abrasive enough to take it off without scratching the chrome.

Secondly: Evaporust!!! All the little tricksy bits and bobs that my big ham-fisted fingers just can't get a grip on go into a labelled mason jar full of the stuff. Freakin' MAGIC! Just breaks your heart when it reveals all of the pitting though

Thirdly and such: Vinegar, MUCH cheaper than evaporust, if I can't get my hands onto the rusty bits, say inside of a tank, THIS is my go-to

Fourthly, the AVENGER!!! : Aluminum jelly. You want to get rid of a batch of aluminum corrosion that's going to doom you to at least three infinities of "Every Girl you EVER fooled around with ganging up on you on live TV with Oprah" dream through swearing and murderous thoughts? THIS is the $#!+

So fill us in guys. What are YOUR biggest time, money, labour and relationship saving tips?

Quite a few folks put some tips and homemade (read cheap & easy) tools in the TOOLS section of the forum. It takes a bit of sifting through, but there is some good stuff in there. Here are ones that I have added over the years:

kzrider.com/forum/21-tools/325119-budget...rocket-holder#325119
kzrider.com/forum/21-tools/318027-budget...linder-holder#318027
kzrider.com/forum/21-tools/318006-budget...ork-bolt-tool#318006
kzrider.com/forum/21-tools/318093-budget-brake-bleeder#318093
kzrider.com/forum/21-tools/318083-budget-soda-blaster#318083

Thank you once again Ed.

Interesting segue on the soda blaster. I've been wanting to try one, but seeing as how my bike's home is basically a shared, covered carport in an apartment building with a picky senior lady caretaker, it could be problematic. Does anyone have any comparitive experience between the Pine-Sol soak method of cleaning carbs and the blaster? And to try and get an actual polish, I saw a Youtube vid a long ways back where some white haired due used some kinda gunk and a toothbrush to give them a pretty quick and decent shine, any ideas?

I'll give the minority report. To me, shiny stuff on a bike or car is like lipstick and make-up on a woman. It's a bunch of extra useless stuff that tricks you into overlooking the more important underlying item's actual condition, whether it's strength or weakness.

Forget the lipstick, jewelry and fancy clothes on the bike: make sure it's in top-notch functioning condition; enjoy how well and safely it rides; and then spend your remaining time and money on something more important.

Unless lipstick & makeup and pretty clothes are the depth of your interest. If that's it, then we're on different planets and my comments don't exist.

rustbuckett, I like the way you think.

Interesting point of view, but I've taken home enough fat chicks to know they're over-rated.

Allowing ANY part on your machine to rust and rot due to laziness and negligence sounds like a pretty good way to put yourself on a stretcher someday. It's a good bet that anyone that can't even be bothered with basic cleaning isn't exactly busting themselves to maintain the proper running and structural integrity of their machine.

Dirt, rust and grime will eventually eat away at your safety. You wipe your ass, so why wouldn't you show the machine you're trusting your life to the same level of care?

Killman wrote: Interesting point of view, but I've taken home enough fat chicks to know they're over-rated.

Allowing ANY part on your machine to rust and rot due to laziness and negligence sounds like a pretty good way to put yourself on a stretcher someday. It's a good bet that anyone that can't even be bothered with basic cleaning isn't exactly busting themselves to maintain the proper running and structural integrity of their machine.

Dirt, rust and grime will eventually eat away at your safety. You wipe your ass, so why wouldn't you show the machine you're trusting your life to the same level of care?

+1 !!!

I doubt there are very many folks who let their bike's appearance deteriorate to a point where it looks like a rusty crap pile but still take meticulous care of the mechanical bits to keep the bike in top-notch functioning condition. Rusted out frames and fuel tanks aren't safe. I suspect in general if one neglects either appearance or mechanical issues they neglect both. There will be a few exceptions, but they would be just that - exceptions.

Likewise, I doubt there are very many folks who take meticulous care of their bike's appearance but let the mechanical bits deteriorate to crap. Maybe a few lone souls, but not very many. I suspect that folks who take a great deal of pride in their bikes see to it that both the mechanical and appearance issues are tended to. They may do it because they actually like their motorcycle and want it to look as good as it runs. Ed

Other than his forum name , I don't see any where in his post about letting a bike rust, rot or be dirty.

Yes, I wipe my ass and shower afterwards , I just don't polish it to where someone can see their reflection :dry:

FWIW I just did the Pinesol soak on my carbs in my last ditch effort to get them cleaned up properly, and to solve the racing at idle I was struggling with.

Worked pretty well. Doesn't bring them back to a shiny new finish by any means, but it does a number on built up grime and varnish in double time, and I do like that is not a harmful chemical, and is easily disposable. DO NOT get in your eye, don't ask me how I know.

After a good check and spray with carb cleaner to ensure the inner passages were properly freed up, it does seem that it has done the trick....

Simple Green - I guess this is another contentious one, but it works well for me, and its biodegradable, and even smells pretty good. Another one that is always within reach.

Read on another forum about the joys of using Shout laundry spot treatment spray as a soak for general grime and such, which is meant to a great job, and rinse away, leaving you bike smelling like laundry? Dunno if that is a good or a bad, thing but I figured I would give it a go sometime. Will report back when I do.

Vinegar is good, but diluted Hydrochloric acid is better and faster. Cheap as well, and doesn't smell as nasty. True that when concentrated its a bit of a nasty one, but that I suppose that is dependant on how you treat these sorts of things.

I am sure there are others, but those are some of the neato things that come time mind for me.

Cheers!

C'mon Killman, settle it down. No need to take things personal. I was giving you some good advice about how to be able to spend more quality time with your lady instead of having to worry about how shiny everything is on your bike.

But since you decided to lash out, I'll go with your lead.

If you and I were just in a spittin' contest at a redneck bar, I'd say you just won. I'll bow out. You can have that pretty little blonde 20-something who was rubbing up against you at the bar earlier. She sure does look all fancy and flashy. Probably spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to pretty herself up as much as she could without spending a whole bunch of money.

When I see you next month though, don't bother me with your woes. Like those two nice melons she was carrying under that halter top – they're fake, and she's already bugging you for a set of newer, bigger ones. Medicaid doesn't cover cosmetic surgery so you'll need to work some overtime to pay for that.

And remember how when you got home that night she said no, don't worry, I'm on the pill, you don't need to put on one of those.... well that burning feeling down there when you use the urinal isn't because you put too much hot sauce on your tacos at lunch today. And about that pill thing – well she must've forgot to take it, because now there's even another little baby inside there starting to grow, and this one's got YOUR last name! Congratulations, daddy! Oh and you'll need to work a little more overtime for all the new expenses she's going to need for your new baby. And probably even some more overtime after that, because the night you went over there she had her other three kids at the babysitter's (cause their dads are missing or in jail, flip a coin), and she can't seem to get the judge to make them give her any child support money and those kids need a lot of stuff (the little girl needs glasses & braces big time – she's an ugly little critter, isn't she... poor kid).

Oh, and those pearly white teeth your little blondie was flashing at the bar? They're dentures. She lost her real ones because of her meth-mouth problem. Rotted all to hell – but that's ok now because she can still keep up with her meth habit but the candy doesn't even ruin her teeth now that they're fake! Better work a little more overtime to feed that meth habit too.

And you know what else is good about that cutie being a meth-head? It keeps her nice and skinny! Sure looks good in those tight jeans now doesn't she! It isn't hard for her to stay skinny because she just doesn't have much of an appetite, being on meth all the time and all.

So it's all good, my friend. Go ahead and pay a bunch of attention to all that surface flashy fancy sexy stuff. No need to concern yourself with what's really underneath all that makeup and lipstick and stuff.

But me – I'll be here with my pleasingly plump and not so beautiful wife. She cooks really well and I sure like how she can hold down a good job, keep all our bills paid, take care of the kids and the household stuff, and never even loses her temper.

You have a good time there with your skinny sexy little blondie. And let me know the name of that planet you're on some day if you can clear your mind enough to remember it.

:kiss:
:whistle: :dry: :pinch:

rustbuckett wrote: C'mon Killman, settle it down. No need to take things personal. I was giving you some good advice about how to be able to spend more quality time with your lady instead of having to worry about how shiny everything is on your bike.

But since you decided to lash out, I'll go with your lead.

If you and I were just in a spittin' contest at a redneck bar, I'd say you just won. I'll bow out. You can have that pretty little blonde 20-something who was rubbing up against you at the bar earlier. She sure does look all fancy and flashy. Probably spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to pretty herself up as much as she could without spending a whole bunch of money.

When I see you next month though, don't bother me with your woes. Like those two nice melons she was carrying under that halter top – they're fake, and she's already bugging you for a set of newer, bigger ones. Medicaid doesn't cover cosmetic surgery so you'll need to work some overtime to pay for that.

And remember how when you got home that night she said no, don't worry, I'm on the pill, you don't need to put on one of those.... well that burning feeling down there when you use the urinal isn't because you put too much hot sauce on your tacos at lunch today. And about that pill thing – well she must've forgot to take it, because now there's even another little baby inside there starting to grow, and this one's got YOUR last name! Congratulations, daddy! Oh and you'll need to work a little more overtime for all the new expenses she's going to need for your new baby. And probably even some more overtime after that, because the night you went over there she had her other three kids at the babysitter's (cause their dads are missing or in jail, flip a coin), and she can't seem to get the judge to make them give her any child support money and those kids need a lot of stuff (the little girl needs glasses & braces big time – she's an ugly little critter, isn't she... poor kid).

Oh, and those pearly white teeth your little blondie was flashing at the bar? They're dentures. She lost her real ones because of her meth-mouth problem. Rotted all to hell – but that's ok now because she can still keep up with her meth habit but the candy doesn't even ruin her teeth now that they're fake! Better work a little more overtime to feed that meth habit too.

And you know what else is good about that cutie being a meth-head? It keeps her nice and skinny! Sure looks good in those tight jeans now doesn't she! It isn't hard for her to stay skinny because she just doesn't have much of an appetite, being on meth all the time and all.

So it's all good, my friend. Go ahead and pay a bunch of attention to all that surface flashy fancy sexy stuff. No need to concern yourself with what's really underneath all that makeup and lipstick and stuff.

But me – I'll be here with my pleasingly plump and not so beautiful wife. She cooks really well and I sure like how she can hold down a good job, keep all our bills paid, take care of the kids and the household stuff, and never even loses her temper.

You have a good time there with your skinny sexy little blondie. And let me know the name of that planet you're on some day if you can clear your mind enough to remember it.

Iam telling your wife you called her ugly, youll hear her loose her temper. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: