Contemplating my mortality (and bike habit)

Here's the deal...I'm 36, married with a 5 year old son and one on the way. I'm a suburban white collar guy with only two friends who ride so my family (exclusive of my wife) and most of my other friends already think I'm nuts. I did a lot of risky stuff when I was younger but nothing too hairy (things where I could get hurt like barreling down a mountain on my bike, but nothing that could get me killed). Last year a colleague was rear ended by a couple riding two-up on a Harley....driver was killed, passenger badly inured. Last week another colleague's husband (a seasoned biker) was killed riding home from work when his bike was hit by somebody who ran a red light. I know many of you have also lost family and friends to bike accidents. I've had a minor one bike accident myself. I'm starting to wonder whether I'm doing right by my family, by my kids, to continue doing something that could get me killed. No matter how safe I am (I've done the BRC and the ERC and am a pretty cautious rider) there's no such thing as a fender bender on a bike. One mistake by some other idiot and my kids have no Dad and my wife is stuck alone. I've told my wife that I may sell my bike and she keeps telling that I'd regret it (which I would).

How do you guys balance the enjoyment of riding against the risk involved and the potential weighty consequences if that risk is ever realized?

Thanks for coming to my pity party. I appreciate all opinions.

-Jonathan

The way I see it is your wife is correct, you would be kicking yourself in the ass after you sold it.
As far as the dangers of riding, we all know people that have been killed riding, we also know lots more that have been killed in a cage. I'm not going to stop riding or driving because of it. But, then I'm older and don't have the "family" life at home anymore. Both of my sons ride and ones wife does.
I figure all you can do is be careful, stay alert, and watch out for the other guy.
Ride safe.

I had the same thoughts when the kids were smaller,I did stop riding for a while it was more due to didnt have the money to fix the bike, in hind sight I think I was concerned about getting hit on the bike.
I have got over that, and I have known a lot of friends that have not made it on a bike,even more who have gone to the maker from other reasons not bike related, I have decided that when your time is up and the calling to another place has been set it is your time and nothing you can do will change it,
live life to the fullest, you and your family will be happier in the long run.

Talman wrote:

...there's no such thing as a fender bender on a bike...

I don't agree. Not every crash results in death. Not every motorcycle rider dies in a crash. But, EVERYONE who eats carrots dies. Therefore, using that logic, it is unsafe to eat carrots, and you should give them up.

...I'd regret it (which I would).

Yep. Maybe, I don't know you. I would, that's for sure. My commute on my bikes are some of the happiest moments...

Biquetoast wrote:

Talman wrote:

...there's no such thing as a fender bender on a bike...

I don't agree. Not every crash results in death. Not every motorcycle rider dies in a crash. But, EVERYONE who eats carrots dies. Therefore, using that logic, it is unsafe to eat carrots, and you should give them up.

Sorry for that one...maybe I should clarify. That's a statement that was made by my instructor on day one of the BRC sort of as his way of reminding us of the need to be safe when riding. I didn't mean to imply that all bikers involved in accidents die. I'm here writing today and I had an oops on my Volusia a few years ago. I make that comment as a way of saying that chances are much lower of a biker walking away from an accident with a broken bike an a completely intact body than they for a person in a cage.

Ah yes. It's a good thing to voice these ideas about your (and our) mortality. Doing so helps me understand that every ride is a gift, and how empty my life would be without my motorcycles. When my time is up I won't be thinking about all the time I've wasted riding, I will probably be regretting all of the days I didn't ride.

Keep the bike.

Jon

Here's what I think. Sell the street bike and buy a couple dirt bikes for you and your son. He will never forget it and neither will you.
You may wind up with some bruises and broken bones over the years from dirt biking, but a fatality? Not too likely.

I figure when your time's up, it's up. I've survived a bout with cancer, as has my dad. I've lost both grandfathers to cancer. I don't plan on living my life in a bubble only to be taken out by cancer. I'm going to live, and ride, but I'm not going to be stupid about it. I don't ride like an idiot (at least not anymore) :laugh: I did realize a few years ago that I'm not bulletproof. I still ride, but I pick and choose where.

I think you shouldn't live your life in fear of death. But you also shouldn't live like your invincible.

I ride because I "love" to ride. I don't believe that people die before they are suppose to. Yes some people die very young, and many die very old. All we can do is ride save, watch out for the reckless drivers, and don't take unreasonable chances.

Ride safe, and don't get too comfortable or relaxed, as soon as you let your guard down, that is when the gremlins get you.

4 years ago, a friend and long time member of our moose hunting group whom we had just spent the week with, had gone out for the opener of deer season. He bagged his deer, but as he was carrying it around to the back of the truck, he slipped and struck his head on the bumper. He died instantly. As his brother-in-law stated in his eulogy, he died indulged in an activity he loved.

The way I see it, you only live once. Make sure that those who love you know you feel the same way. You never know when your time is up, motorcycle related or not...

in short, love what you do, do what you love and only regret the times you lost to regret. This is a way of life a labor love and a passion that we so greatly share among each other. It is a noble act to sacrifice your enjoyment for the sake of your family and if you think that you must then you should. As it is I'll end up not riding for some years because I'll be getting married soon and starting my own family but I'm not getting rid of my bike. Best of luck to your choice and ride safely.

I have lots of the same feelings, and no real answers.

I don't think there is one except the one that you feel in your own heart. I have a hard time riding a lot now, because I know every time I go out my wife will expect the worst until I get back. I can't bear to think of putting her through a vary real hell.

But she doesn't mind the idea of me getting back on for some recreational use, and I hope to keep the cruiser to baby it and get it just right, so that some day, when the kids are grown, (and I'll be too old to keep it up (no, I mean the bike)), we can maybe take an outing together.

I think OKCKent has a pretty good idea. My wife asked me if I really would like to see my son riding, and I said YES. I hope someday to ride with him... but I want him to learn how to not get killed, and I think dirt bikes to have much less risk if treated with equal diligence.