I hate morons

I was doing yardwork, listening to my neighbor trying to start his quad. He finally cranked all the life out of the battery, so I took my charger over and asked if I could help. He said it ran fine yesterday, but now wouldn't start. I asked if it had gas, he said he'd filled it "recently". I believed him, so I didn't check for gas.
It would start if I sprayed carb cleaner into the intake, but we couldn't keep it running. After 20 minutes, I took off the gas cap and looked into the tank. Yep. Bone dry.
"Hmmm..." he said. "But I just filled it last week."
A gallon of gas from the can, and it fired right up.
I didn't check for gas right away because I didn't want to insult my neighbor. Now I know better.

Hmmm... yes, lots of experience with folks a few brain cells shy of the normal complement.

I used to be in Information Technology... We implemented a complicated system for electronic customs clearance with US Customs - we were the first company in the world to do this. The process meant following a well documented process described in detailed instructions. I get a phone call one day from the person processing the transactions - she was panicking - the system wasn't working properly, the end report was not printing.

I talked through everything with her, she seemed to understand what was needed - but still she said the report wasn't printing. Finally I asked her were there any error messages on the screen - her response was "no, the screen is black"... she had not turned the computer on...

We changed the process to include turning the machine on first...

Well, I agree that you NEVER trust what someone else ma have repaired, and all of the other things that you said. BUT....

It can't be the "SR from Hades" because all SR's were sent from Heaven!

Back in 81, I bought a 66 Buick Lesabre 2dr for $500. That thing, for being a boat, was fast and rode like a caddy. I was raised in a body shop, and for my birthday that year (21), my dad painted it silver with black along the rocker panels. I had me a rocket, and I let everyone know it that would watch. Anyway, I ended up overheating and blowing the motor (shocking, I know). I found one motor in the whole state that was the same as the one I melted down. So, I replaced the motor, and a few parts it needed to be complete...intake, carb, distributor, etc. Got it all back together, gave the key a try and it shot flames I could have roasted weinies over. Spent a couple more weeks trying this and trying that, and still more fire. Was really pissing me off...My BIL stopped over one day and asked if he could help. No problem, an extra brain can't hurt. I ran for beer while he looked around. We still couldn't figure it out until about 12 or 14 beers into the case, we sat down for a break, and he turns to me and says, and I quote "hey dumbass, did you put the distributor in right?"......:blush:
Damn thing fired right up. It was a miracle:laugh:
Well, needing some cash as my first child was due anytime, I sold it to one of my customers that was an elderly gentleman, with more drinking issues than I had at the time. That same weekend, he left the road sooner than I think he planned, and wedged it between the only 2 trees in the ditch that was between the bar and his house.
Totalled it...he was okay though.:lol:
So, you can consider me a moron that has learned to put the shit back the way it came out!!!!:laugh: If I can't remember, which seems to be more common than it used to, then I will ask for help. If you see me posting for help, it's because I used to be one of those morons, and I'm just trying not to revert ot my old ways:lol:

I actually can't complain too much about morons because thats how I got into motorcycles and KZ's in the first place. A friend of mine had a KZ650C and it wouldn't run right. It would run for 10 minutes or so and then shut down. It wouldn't come above idle very far either. He thought maybe a problem with electronics. I had plenty of experience with snowmobiles but never touched a motorcycle before so i decided to try helping him out. I checked the electrics first but as I expected, not the problem. I then went to take the gas tank off to get to the carbs when I noticed that he had a huge fuel filter sitting under it. He said he had replaced the original for a car filter because he thought it would flow better just before it stopped working. As it turns out it just made it sit goofy and vacuum locked the fuel lines. I took it off and replaced it for a tiny one and whaddya know it fired right up and ran like a champ. That was the first bike I ever drove and caught the bug really quick. Oh yeah about a year later he came back to me wondering why his bike wouldn't run right unless it had the petcock on prime... ya thats right the little vacuum line came off. Yet another quick fix.

Becker wrote:

I actually can't complain too much about morons because thats how I got into motorcycles and KZ's in the first place.

Hehehehehehe...me too!

Mans' inhumanity to machinery makes countless......
bucks for dealers and boneyards !!!

I know cuz I work at a bike boneyard. I think I'll write a book someday.....but it'll probably never get finished because just when I think I've seen everything, some doofus comes up with a topper. It's amazing to me how some of these people manage to function in modern society :ohmy: and to put the cap on the whole thing, they think they're capable of owning/riding/maintaining a motorcycle.
I just thank them nicely for their patronage and put their money in the till.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

I was in a pawnshop the other day (I keep checking for good deals on tools) when a guy walked in and handed the clerk a 30-06 and asked how much he could get for it.

The clerk opened up the bolt and started jacking rounds out of it! The fool had handed the clerk a loaded weapon with one in the chamber, and had been carting it around town that way!!

There sure are some incredibly stupid people.

steell wrote:

I was in a pawnshop the other day (I keep checking for good deals on tools) when a guy walked in and handed the clerk a 30-06 and asked how much he could get for it.

The clerk opened up the bolt and started jacking rounds out of it! The fool had handed the clerk a loaded weapon with one in the chamber, and had been carting it around town that way!!

There sure are some incredibly stupid people.

WOW!!!? :laugh: LMAO I love pawn shops.

When I first moved back to Oklahoma, I thought I'd look at why my dad's '79 GS1000 wouldn't run. It'd sat for some time while his health wasn't so good. Turns out the carbs were gummed up with varnish, so I took 'em apart and cleaned everything. Put them back together and installed them... and it wouldn't start.

I checked for spark, it looked good. I opened the drain on one of the float bowls for fuel, and nothing came out. I checked another float bowl, same thing.

I had put the floats back in upside down! :woohoo:

An hour of wrestling with the air box hoses and correcting my mistake and the bike started right up and runs great to this day!

True story...

I work in engineering and was on a call with one of our field techs back east (I'm in Arizona). He informed me one of our systems wouldn't power up.

I asked him the following...

Incoming 120Vac power good... reply yep!
Is the mains power fuse blown open, nope he ohmed it out...

I fly 2200 friggin miles, get to the location with this field tech (idiot), measure the incoming power (good), ohm out the fuse = blown.

I asked to see his digital volt meter to test it out figuring it may be bad, have an internal blown fuse what ever.

He informs me he doesn't have a meter... WTF I ask, how the hell did you ohm this fuse out for continuity?

This is the look on his face... :dry:
:blink: :blush:

Here's the look on my face for wasting my time...


Old Man Rock

Some great stories:laugh:

At the architectual firm she works for, my girl gets asked by her boss to give her computer training on the weekend.

My girl asks what she wants to learn and the boss replies she wants to check email.
So my girl points to the icon and says click there.
Her boss then starts tapping her finger on the monitor screen.:ohmy:
BTW, her boss is a Harverd PHD graduate.:huh: